What I Wish I Would Have Said

We haven't done much on the house this week so I haven't had anything to write here. But I do have this.

I'm laying in bed, sound asleep when the phone rings. I stumble to the other room where the phone is and notice it's about 2:30. I answer and the guy on the phone says, " I saw what you did and I know who you are."

I paused a moment and said, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"So you saw me with the Homeless Man?"

"Yeah!"

"You saw me kill him?"

"Um...yeah."

"You saw me cut off his nuts and stuff them down his throat?"

"Uh huh!"

"So you know that I would have no reservations about doing even worse to some Shit for Brains Scumbag who calls me at two-thirty in the morning?!"

"Click"

That's what I wish I would have said.

Instead, I kind of stood there in a haze and said, "Who is this?" Then he hung up. Then I lost the next thirty minutes of sleep running that first scenerio through my head and wishing I had the presence of mind for that witty banter.

I need to script my life better!