On our way to church this morning, I was crossing the Monroe Street Bridge behind two cars going about 22 mph. To be fair, the first car was going 22 and the one behind it was matching the speed, which forced me to do the same. I could have changed lanes and gone around but that seemed like a lot of extra work. At the same time, I could see the approaching green light was becoming stale and in danger of turning. Yet, I stayed my course and allowed my temper to build on the first Scum Sucking Slow Ass driver.
The light changed but not before the two cars in front of me sailed on through. Several expletives coursed through my sub-conscious but did not escape the filter to my mouth. I simmered at the light and let it go.
On our return trip home I was driving down Illinois Avenue and came up behind an SUV doing 21 mph. This time, I did not have the option of changing lanes. I was forced to lumber behind this Dumbass, Shit for Brains, Loser Dumbass. We came to a stop and D.S.f.B.L.D. sallied through the intersection with trepidation. I had no intention of staying behind this Asswipe so as we approached the light, I was heading for whichever lane this person didn't pick. As she played guess the lane, the light changed and she sailed on through.
Again the expletives exploded through my head and I was about to let the onslaught loose when Jesus spoke to me. I remained calm, prayed for the Loser Asswipe souls of both drivers who had vexed me that morning, and forgave them.
So you can clearly see, it's good to be a Christian.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Thanks, Stan. You really gave me a good laugh. I'm Mike. Your friend, Mike. Cheers, Your friend, Mike
Post a Comment