Once upon a midnight dreary, while I ponder drunk and blurry, over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten beer, while I tossed back the results of brewing, suddenly there came a chewing, as of something gently gnawing, gnawing on my chamber door.
Okay, the rhyming is off. Clearly, I'm no E.A. Poe. I thought that writing poetry, however poorly plagiarised, would have a calming effect on me. I just had to calm down from the Damn Squirrel. Yesterday's home remedy treatment of mothballs and cayenne pepper didn't seem to surcease his squirrely whiles. I came home last night and there among more shards of siding, were smashed mothballs on the ground.
So I went out and bought some Squirrel AwayTM...a spray that allows me to soak the area with a very irritating formulation. As I was up on the roof spraying this stuff around, I caught wind of it. It was burning my eyes and making me cough. So at least I know it will keep me off the roof. I'll find out tonight if it is effective on Chewie the Chewer!
If not, we may have a bloodier Halloween display than I thought.
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