Two Days to Halloween

Today's vituperative subject concerns Squirrels.

Squirrels are the majority population of species living around the Park. They easily out number peoples. The whole neighborhood is a giant Squirrel City. They have Squirrel Malls, Squirrel Office Buildings, Squirrel Apartment Complexes, and of course, Squirrel Starbuck's.

I have been managing one of the Food Courts for the Southwest Squirrel Mall. I spend about five bucks a week on peanuts. At one time, the Food Court had a wonderful Squirrel Feeder. But, the Gansta Squirrels chewed the hell out of it and ruined it for all the other Squirrels. I have yet to replace the Squirrel Feeder.

Then there was the Hoodlum Squirrel that decided to chew into the soffit on the eves of the house and establish some sort of Squirrel Crack House. I had to put up a metal barrier and then replace the trim that got all chewed up. Damn Squirrel chewed right through the new trim the next day but couldn't get past the metal. I have yet to replace the trim.

I came home last night and noticed a bunch of shards of wood all over the back steps. Upon closer investigation, some low life Hooligan Squirrel chewed the hell out of the siding up next to the roof in an attempt to find shelter.

I hope he enjoys his chewing today. The whole area is laced with Cayenne Pepper and Moth Balls. The Food Court is no longer in business. The area is blighted anyway. The tree needs to come down to make way for a larger garage. That's progress in Squirrel Town.

And now, a word about Halloween.