Gear up for the Fair

Yesterday, Susan and I attended the opening day of the Iowa State Fair, the best State Fair. (Don't miss it, don't even be late) We were joined by our fair hostess, Margaret, who is Susan's sister. Also joining us was her cousins, Louise and Irene.

It was a hot muggy day, just perfect for walking around for hours upon hours upon still more hours. I ran out of gas about 5:00 but we stayed until 10. I'm not one to complain so nobody knew about the throbbing, burning ache in my knee. I just sucked it up and heavily medicated myself with beer. That might be the other reason I ran out of gas at five.

Anyway, the Iowa State Fair is quite a spectacle. Immediately upon arrival shortly after nine, I set out on my goal to eat every kind of food available at the fair the was followed by the words "on a Stick".

We started with a Corn Dog or "Hot Dog on a Stick".

Then I had "Cheese in a Stick". This tasted light a grilled cheese sandwich. It tasted like it was made with the Cheese of the Gods, also known as Velveeta.
While wondering through the Ag Building, I found "Egg on a Stick". This was a special bonus "On a Stick" food because it was free.
The best "On A Stick" food was "Pork Chop on a Stick". It was slowly bar-b-qued in a large rotisserie cooker. Absolutely Fabulous!!!For dessert, "Ice Cream on a Stick". I had to fight Susan off for this one. The beauty of this "On a Stick" food was it was a Winning Prise for coming closets to guessing when Louise would arrive.The next day, I discovered I had pretty much covered all the "On A Stick" food. All that was left was "Chicken on a Stick".This was the only "On A Stick" food I didn't eat.We found a place were they had "Salad on a Stick" but that seemed too nutritious.

I have since learned that I missed "Deep Fried Bacon on a Stick" and Deep Fried Twinky on a Stick". I guess we will have to go back.

We start our return trip home tomorrow and are planning on a three day journey. I hope we can get in eight hours tomorrow and maybe twelve on Sunday. That will give us an easy sixish hour drive home on Monday.

Humid in Iowa

Susan's father died last Tuesday, August 4th, 21 days short of his ninty-se7enth birthday. I guess that's a pretty good life.

So, we have driven to Iowa. The funeral was yesterday and all went well...at least as well as things can go when you talking about a funeral. We got to see lots and lots of her family and so, in that respect, this has been a good trip.

We still have the Iowa State Fair to look forward to and tonight we are going to see the local Triple A baseball team. I think they are a farm club of the Cubs. The San Diego Chicken will be there to entertain so we are pumped to go. He calls himself the Famous Chicken now but he's still the same guy and he is pretty funny to watch.

We made our drive here in two days rather than our marithon 24 drive that we have done in the past. It was nice to break it up into two days and it was a memorable drive featuring a very cool sunset. We made it to Gillette, WY the first day. We were trying to make it well into South Dakota but Freeway Construction and a major Lightning Storm prevented that. It was raining so hard that we had to pull off the highway and hide under an overpass for about 15 minutes.

We got an early start the next day and drove through Sturgess, SD during the big Motorcycle festival they have there. I've never seen so many motorcycles. It was truely amazing.

So now we are here and enjoying the remaining days we have before loading up a trailer and returning with some of Susan's parent furniture and assorted stuff. I am not publishing this entry or any of those to follow until we return home. I figure there is no reason to give a burglar a clear message that we are not home. But I wanted to get some stuff written before it gets lost in the fertile sediment of my sentiment.

Hot Tub Delivery Day

It was a busy weekend full of accomplishments and I have the aching sore neck to prove it.

Last weekend I borrowed a truck from my friend Rob. It's his extra utility truck...I call it the Farm Truck. I went to the dump and hauled stuff and did a series of manly truck related items. Rather than return it on Sunday, I just kept it for the whole week. I hauled two loads of pea gravel to the new hot tub pit. I hauled lumber. I hauled and hauled and hauled. I used about $80.00 worth of gas.

I don't think I have reported this before so I better say it now. Our neighbors have offered us their hot tub. It is a 15 year old Hotsprings hot tub. It is in good condition and all we have to do is move it.

So we have been preparing the site where the tub will go and getting ready for the move. Yesterday was move day. I got several friends to whom I am now indebted. I rented a hot tub dolly which was very slick. This was a big metal cart with steerable wheels on both ends. We lifted the tub up on end and onto the cart. Then it was just a matter of wheeling it next door and dropping (softly) into place.

The most amazing part of the whole operation was that the tub is level. I'm not sure it will remain that way once we fill it, but for now a level tub is a happy tub and I am happy.

Rob has his truck back and it is very clean and gassed up.

Painting is continuing on the front of the house. Our painter has been very meticulous about preparing everything. She has spent several days scraping, power washing and caulking. It looks like she is just about ready to paint. Once she starts that, she'll be finished rather quickly.

The heat has been unrelenting for a couple of weeks now. Keeping water on the lawn is a major effort. If I miss a couple of days, you see it right away.

Finally...an Update

I've been off the air for a while. No excuse, not even that busy. I just haven't made time to get on the computer and type.

After two weeks of suffering from the effects of my massive bug bites, I went to the Doctor.

They had started to fade been then came back. Susan has been concerned that we brought the bugs home from the lake with us and they were still visiting. I have the massive bites and she gets one or two and goes nuts.

Anyway, the picture above is from two days ago. The Doctor gave me a prescription strength ointment to apply as well as a series of steriods to take. I can see a huge improvement. The best part, I'm not as itchy as I was.

Susan's birthday was last Sunday and to celebrate, the city threw an elaborate concert with fireworks for her.

It was a lovely night after a hot day. We got down to the park around se7en o'clock after consuming the traditional Susan Birthday Meal of Cheeseburgers, Corn on the Cob, Potato Chips, and Cottage Cheese.

We saved the traditional Susan Birthday cake, which is Angel Food Cake slathered in Strawberries, for the park. Everyone joined in a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday and she blew out her 39 candles in front of a sizable crowd.

The concert was the Royal Fireworks Concert where fireworks are set off to Handels Royal Fireworks Music for loud bangs and booms. It was well received and Susan had a fabulous birthday.

Unfortunately, we should have gone home after the concert rather than drop by a local watering hole located right by our cars. We all had a couple more drinks which made us feel small in the morning.

The Curse of the No-See-Ums

I had another bad night of the itches. I finally got out of bed around three and went downstairs to take a bath. I added two cups of Epsom Salts and stayed in there for about an hour. It was therapeutics enough to let me go back to bed and sleep until morning.

I went out to get the morning paper and let the cats out when I noticed this bird sitting in the front walkway. It was a kind of bird I have never seen. I was a young crow. I don't think I have ever seen a baby crow before. For that matter, a baby pigeon or baby sea gull are foreign to me as well.

It looked like it had fallen from its nest because it was dazed and kind of wobbly. It didn't make much of an attempt to get away from me. Its parents however had no problem squawking away as I approached it. They seemed to be quite upset with me. As much as I dislike crows, I couldn't see myself putting this little thing out of its misery so I returned the cats to the house.

Susan said it was no longer in the yard when she left for work. I thought it would have made a nice pet. I would have named it "Nevermore" or "Aticus".

Extended Weekend

We have just returned from three days up at Priest Lake. Let me start by saying that the Huckleberries are in season right now and they are everywhere. I have never come upon a patch of huckleberries as thick as the one we found on Monday. We finally had to stop picking because we ran out of room in our containers. We left lots of berries.

We were at Priest courtesy of my pal Arnie and his wife Hayley. They live in San Fran but come to town from time to time to relive Arnie's childhood of growing up here. They rented a great cabin near the Priest Lake Marina.

Susan and I drove up Sunday and stayed until Tuesday. The weather did not exactly cooperate the whole time we were there but we came home relaxed and refreshed...mostly. We also drank heavily. I especially drank heavily on Sunday night. I finally stumbled to bed around two-ish and woke up refreshed and ready for a rainy day around nine. Nobody would believe that I felt good. My advantage was to take aspirin prior to passing out...along with copious quantities of water. Sure, I had to get up a couple of times and pee but that wasn't until I had processed a great deal of alcohol.

The following night I had a run-in with some No-See-Ums. They are the kind of bug that eat at you ravenously but you never see them or know they were there until it is too late.

Seriously! I went to bed around midnight and felt no ill effects from the day, the night, the giant dinner we consumed or booze. I awoke around three and my legs were terribly itchy. It kept me up for most of the rest of the night. When I finally got out of bed around se7en, my arms and legs were covered with little bites that developed into little welts.

I went back to ask Susan if she felt itchy and she said that she didn't. If it was fleas or bedbugs, they left her alone. Of course, I had earlier basted myself with gin and grilled meat.

I am hoping this is not going to last too long. It is terribly uncomfortable. I'm going through a LOT of Epsom Salts.

House of the Rising Slime

We have spent the week doing little projects all around the house. We are repainting and slightly rebuilding our screen wall that hides the space between the garage and the carriage house where I keep loads of crap. It badly needed a paint job and some rebuilding.

Susan did some plastering in the back guest bedroom. We have a small access hole in the ceiling that lets me get into the attic. I pretty much tore it apart a couple years ago because it wasn't big enough to get stuff up there. I re-framed the hole and Susan put up some drywall and patched what was left. It looks pretty good now.

The rest of our time has been spent cleaning as we have some out of town guests arriving on Friday...and God forbid that someone might see the house in the usual sloppy style in which we live. Of course, I'm comfortable in our usual sloppy style and would allow it to get sloppier if not for someone who is not sloppy...or comfortable with it...who shall remain nameless.

Independence Weekend Day "C"

We have arrived into the New Millennium. We now have Satellite TV. We have been limping along on basic cable and the recent upgrades to digital transmission has caused us to loose a lot of channels. So, we decided to try Direct TV.I am slowly learning of the joys of Digital Recording. We have one DVR with out package and I have already recorded a few shows. Tonight we will be watching "Burn After Reading". It's a recent offering from the Farely Brothers., whose past films include 'Raising Arizona", "Brother Where Art Thou" and Fargo. I always have to watch their movies a couple of times before I get them. I hated "The Big Labowski" the first time I saw it but now it is one of my favorites.

I get a daily e-mail feature from Meriam-Webster Dictionary called Word of the Day. It is my feeble attempt to improve my vocabulary by looking at new words every day and then forgetting them.

Yesterdays offering was very good because it was a word I had not heard before and the pronunciation was nothing like I expected it to be.

If I were to use invigilate in a sentence, someone might misconstrue my meaning. Ya know?!

We went downtown on bicycles last night to watch the fireworks but this year we were joined by our friends Ron and Kelly and then later joined by buddy Mark.

Ron and Kelly came over about 6:00 and we put Ron to work on the grill with his pork ribs and bar b-q sauce. He pretty much ruined my grill and the inside of my Webber. It will take some major heat to remove all the baked on goodness. Man, those ribs were goooooood!We rode down to the park about 9:00 and had great seats to watch the fun. Then we hopped back on the bikes and avoided the mayhem downtown with nary an problem.

Susan and I spent today on some projects around the house and enjoyed a quiet afternoon puttering.

Tomorrow it is back to reality. What a drag! Oh well, you can't appreciate the good without the reality.

Independence Weekend Day Deux

The weekend is now well underway and we accomplished a few things as well as hung about. The big event of our yesterday was to go and see the arrival of an old steam locomotive. It's called the 4449 Daylight Special. It's home base is in Portland, Oregon but it is traveling to a big Train Festival in Owosso, Michigan. Yesterday was the first leg of its trip and it came through Spokaloo.

There is a website (http://www.trainfestival2009.com/) that allowed me to track the progress of the train. When it got to Cheney, we drove downtown. The GPS tracking system is running a bit behind the actual location of the train. I wanted to watch it cross the big trestle coming into town. Unfortunately, it was coming across the big trestle just as we arrived down there so I didn't get that picture. I was able to go right up to the tracks and get the picture above.
After it passed by, we drove to the train station to check it out up close and personal. I'm not a huge fan of trains but I like old stuff like this. The train cars it's pulling are all vintage cars as well. Vintage from 1949ish, when this particular train was built.

Susan made great progress on the wall in the kitchen. Her progress was so good that she actually finished. It looks much better now.

Now it is July Fourth and time to celebrate the arrival of Satellite Television to our house. The installer is coming today and then we will join the 21st Century of TV viewing.

We may even watch some fireworks.

Independence Weekend Day One

I think what we learned from yesterday's entry is to stay away from the computer after alcohol is consumed.

We have nothing planned for the three day weekend and so anything we accomplish will be bonus accomplishment points. Our first job today was to sleep in and we performed that task brilliantly. Susan is like a Sleeping In Savant. A true professional.

I'm going to work on some gardening, pond leakage repair, a little electrical work and some major hanging out. Susan is on a roll with the kitchen wall and will probably paint it today or tomorrow. It looks like she is going to have to buy some paint. we found a can in the basement that is a similiar color but it was so old I had to destroy the lid to get into it.

The hops have reached the top of the arbor and now have seemed to stop growing. The Hallertau is the taller more robust vine but it seems to have become an aphid factory. I sprayed soapy water on it but I can't tell if that is helping. The Sterling is just cruising along and appears aphidless. It is certainly interesting that the little buggers would prefer one kind of hops over the other.

I planted some tomatoes last week. They were starts that I got from mom's friend, John. He grew them rom seeds he dried out last year from one of his really big tomato plants. They are starting to overcome the transplant shock and hopefully will produce some tomatoes by October.

It's a Miracle

Let u say that from this p oint on, anything I say is a MIRACLe because of mee drunkeneth...or at least my aledgeded state of possibly having imbibdeded an alcoholic beaverage. YES! I said BEAVERAGE!!

It is late in the evening and it is the start of our three day weekend where I am not driving or leaving the house except to transport prisoners so,......DON"T JUDGE ME!

If however you must judge me,

FUCK YOU! They are low level parishioners. And they might have been at Abu Graib.

However, what do you know about the pain suffered by me and the...other stuff that might have made me suffer stuff that I don't want to talk about here cuz my typing ain't so gud...and other stuff that might have MADE me type this stuff that I dident want to type but was compelled on to type for the making of bad judgement on me. By the way! did you know that I am the Chairman of a major commitee in a major neopolitan city that would be totally embarasses by for me onto which I am trying to get the kicking off by me from the committee on which I serve so that eye don't hav to deal with dumbass situations where I might have crossed a line concerning some dumbass thing that nobody really cares about, Jaaaaaaaaay!? Was that a question!?...or just a really ebullient dissertation by someone who is pretending to be drunkeness...or is he../..she....also the cunning proprieter of a vast data base of wordage known as a rhinosaurus.

Also, what happens if I get taizzed?

Health Drinks

Susan is still working on the french door walls in the kitchen. I advised her to take a night of last night because her work would have interferred with my television enjoyment. There is nothing good on the telly tonight so I am allowing her to work.

I returned to work today and for the most part had an uneventful work experience. I had a little panic in the morning as I realized my heart was kind of racing and making me a little dizzy. I was a little taken aback by this because I have not had any such experience at all similar to this during my brief recovery period. I then remembered that I have not had a quad mocha espresso during my brief recovery period, a circumstance that had indeed occurred this very morning. Was it a coincidence, or could a four shot espresso coffee drink possibly make me a little jittery?

I choose to leave such speculation up to Health Care Professionals while I focus on ways of getting out of work...if I survive.

My Muddy Wife

Even though I'm out of action for a while, Susan has taken it upon herself to see that we continue to make remodeling progress, even if it's only a little bit.

After a good solid Sunday of not much activity, she went to work on the wall where we had the new French Doors installed in the kitchen last year. That's right, they were installed last year and we are only now getting around to fixing the wall around them. It has been a low priority project so get off your high horse, you Sanctimonious Home Remodeling Disparager, you!

Sorry, sometimes the pain pills I'm on cause me to loose a little control. I don't mean to blame the drugs but I blaming the drugs.

So she got out the sander and the mud and went to work on the wall. She got a good start on it and will finish it up tomorrow. She might even be so ambitious as to paint it by the end of the week.

Projects go much faster here when I'm out of the picture, you Bombastic Judgementer of Domicile Rehabilitation Promptitude, you.

Remodeling and Improvement shall continue

Todays' big remodeling project is not really about remodeling as much as it is about cleaning. My closet is a disaster and now that I have some time on my hands, with limited ability to do much of anything, cleaning/organizing fits the bill.

But first, a nap!

De Fib Day

Home remodeling will have to go on the back burner for a few days asI have to hit the Hospital for some body remodeling.

I'm getting a dephibrillator installed today because I'm a 52 year old in a 70 year olds body.

If this ends up being my last post, you'll know why.

However, this is the blog about the house so if you want to hear me drone on and on and on about my health, check out http://www.porkymccorpulent.blogspot.com/.

Of course, if that one stops mysteriously too...well, what can I say.

To quote Dr. Sidney Freedman from M*A*S*H:
Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice,
Pull down your Pants and Slide on the Ice.

Home Improvement Continues

Well, we finally got Cousin Louise out of the house. That means we don't have to devote all that time to entertaining her, having her take us out to dinner and having her clean the house. Finally, we can get back to the daily drudgery of home remodeling. Thanks for coming, Louise!

Here's one of our projects that is coming along nicely. The columns on the front porch are no longer sinking. It took a couple of weeks and about $400.00 but that seems cheap compared to having the roof cave in.I'm not sure I have mentioned anything about Squiggy. He is our friendly squirrel who is not afraid to come up to the door to get some food. As you can see in this picture, his tail is askew. It's hanging on by a hair...literally.

He looks like he has been in a fight with some other animal. Since this picture was taken, the end of his tail has fallen off. The picture doesn't really show his injuries but he looks pretty beat up.

So I feel compelled to make sure he's well fed over the next few days. I'm not going to loose another squirrel on my watch!

Solstice Success

Another successful Solstice is in the rear view mirror. All our preparations went smoothly and Susan didn't get too tense before the event. We got a little extra help from her cousin Louise who came over from Seattle for the party. That was a nice surprise.

It was a large crowd of revelers and everyone had a great time and enjoyed my fabulous homebrew. My second attempt at Drop Top Ale was much more successful than the first, although we did manage to empty that keg too.

Here are a couple of pictures I managed to remember to take during the evening. I decided to protect the indentity of my party goers since I didn't get their permission to post their photographs.

However, I think those involved (Ron & Kelly) know who they are.

Clean up was easy and we were in bed by Two. All in all, a great party and fun was had by me!

Solstice Preparations

With one day to go before the Summer Solstice Party, we are pretty much on schedule. Susan goes into Slave Driver mode prior to any event we host and it can be quite ugly for those who get in her way...or don't complete the list of things given to them.

However, everything seems to be going along smoothly except for the weather. It is rainy today but the forecast is suggesting we might have a chance to avoid rain tomorrow. It's going to be cooler but no rain would be the coolest of all.

I'm working at the bar tomorrow but only for a couple of hours. That will allow me to abscond with the ice I need and still make a little money to buy the booze I need.

I scored with Spokane Cedar Products. They had the cedar siding I needed to complete the work on the columns and piers on the front porch. Now I just need to get Phil back.

Hops Tops Out! and less important stuff

The Hops has made it to the top of the arbor. That's about twelve feet. It is time to celebrate and identify this momentous occasion because we have so little going on in our lives that momentous occasions include plant growth. But it does pass as a significant milestone because I really wanted them to be over the top in time for the Solstice Party.Phil continues to work on the front porch. My only obstacle now is the siding, which I have not yet figured out an alternative for. I don't need that much (40 feet) so I'm going to see if my guy at Windsor Plywood can come up with something. Today I am meeting with my Cardiac Electrician. We are going to discuss all the ramifications of the DePhil-A-Brator they are installing in me. I have a whole list of questions.

• Can I Scuba dive? (Even though I haven't in over five years.)
• Can I ride Roller Coasters? (Even though I haven't in three years.)
• How much does this cost? (I have insurance.)
• Will I ever play the violin? (Even though I can't now!)
• If a train heading east leaves Chicago at 12:45...the Doc may not know the answer to this one!

I am willing to entertain questions here but by the time anyone sends a question in, the appointment will be over, so...never mind!

A Flurry of Activities

Much is getting accomplished. This always happens in the week running up to the Solstice Party. I probably accomplish more in this week than in the whole rest of the year.

Phil is back working on the front porch. We found a LOT of dry rot in the boards around the columns and piers so we thought we better get that nipped in the bud before painting continues.

Here's a problem with having an old house. You can't find replacement lumber. They don't make it any more. The sample of porch decking I took to Windsor Plywood was not available. They just don't make that size anymore. I could get a tongue and groove board that was a quarter inch thinner, for all the good that would do me.

Same story with the trim molding I took in. AND with the piece of siding I gave them. Nuthin!

Fortunately, one of the guys who works there said he could mill me what I needed of the moulding AND the decking. In fact, he has done it already. I have to go pick it up tonight.

I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do about the siding I need. Windsor directed me to Spokane Cedar Products. We'll see what happens.

I finished the Squirrel Hole. It looks fabulous if you don't care about workmanship or quality. I'm hoping painting will help hide the imperfections. I depend a LOT on paint.

Painting and Solstice Prep

The painting has begun on the front of the house. That is a problem as I still have to finish my work on the squirrel hole. I tried to get some work accomplished on it last night but quickly determined I had the wrong nails. I split the cedar shakes as soon as I hit the nail a second time. I have these big ol' roofing nails and I need something much smaller and more delicate.

In the meantime, we are getting dangerously close to the Summer Solstice party and we still haven't completed the invitation. Hopefully, we'll have that done tonight...certainly no later than tomorrow. The solstice is just 10 days away.

I bought a grape vine the other day to replace the Clematis that didn't survive the winter. It is a Savignon Franc grape vine and it cost $6.99. The vines I bought last year were more like $18.00 and they are not as tall as this one. Of course, they were poisoned by the yard guy so they have been fighting their way back to health.

Defibri-Stan

I have a Doctor's appointment today to determine if I should get my very own on-board defibrillator as an addition to my standard equipment. Susan and I are are meeting with my Cardiologist's "Electrician" to ask lots of questions.

Afterwards, I might have some answers. And I will share them here.

After the Appointment: The "Electrician" is Dr Eteri Byazrova. She is about four feet tall. She could fit in my palm. She's tiny. Clearly, she is not from this country but that is not an issue for me. Competence is an issue for me and Susan and I both got the Comp Vibe from this eensy little woman.

I asked her for her assessment of my health. She says I am in good shape for someone with MyoCardio Myopathy. That was good to hear. However, there are to be more tests.

A heart takes in blood and ejects it to the body as it beats. I assume that everyone knows that. The Ejection Fraction is a valuation of the amount of blood the heart ejects. A healthy heart has an ejection fraction of 55 to 70 percent. Mine is somewhere between 30 and 40%. The task now is to determine as close to possible what the number is. And so, there are to be more tests.

If the number is 35% or below, the defib will be installed. If I am above 35%, there are other options to discuss. And then, there will be more tests.

Another Harvest

I have hired a Lawn Service who sprays fertilizer and weed killer every few weeks. They have made two visits so far. The lawn in the front yard is really coming in nicely. My complaint is that I can barely get by mowing once a week. By the time I do mow, it is genuinely needed. I harvested about 10 bushels of grass last night.

If I had a sprinkler system, the whole yard would probably be looking pretty good. I have sections that just don't get enough water. I have to concentrate on those areas.

Mark down June 4th as the day the Carriage House Paint Job was completed. It looks really good. Now our painter is moving on to the front of the house. She started power washing yesterday. I imagine she'll have a few days of prep work. This now means that I have to finish my "Squirrel Hole" project up on the balcony. Yeah, it's not done yet. We've been busy painting windows.

Drive By Neighborhood Safety

I completely forgot to report on a Drive-By Shooting incident in the neighborhood on Saturday night.

It was about 10:30 and I had gone to bed. I had only been in bed a short while when I heard four loud booms, clearly gunfire, coming from just down the street...just a couple of houses away, in fact.

I raced to the front balcony but the car from which the shots were fired had already sped by and made its way down to the end of the street. I would not have had much of a window to see it because of all tree branches blocking my view.

We called 911 to report the incident and then I went out front to see if other neighbors were responding. There were a couple who came out.

The cops showed up and looked around and asked some questions, but none of us had anything to offer other than we heard shots. We couldn't tell which way they went, what type of car it was, or any other, you know, facts to help them find out who did this.

I learned the next day that the police found five shotgun shells by the side of the road in the park. They must have been firing into the park. Sounds like some pranksters.

It appears they have pulled off the perfect crime and will probably get away to fire into another empty park in another neighborhood.

Weekend Sicky

I started to develop a cold last Wednesday. I have not treated myself very well since then and the cold still persists. I am finally taking today (a Monday) to try and get well. So my workplace suffers whilst I recover. (Boy, I'm really thinking a LOT of myself to consider my company suffering because I am not there)

I tried to paint yesterday but didn't last long. We will have to finish up later this week. I don't think we'll suffer any major consequences.

On the bright side, looky what Phil accomplished! He got that whole project done in two days. That is a record for any project we have done on this house. Prior to this, anything we have done was mandated to last at least a week and usually into months.

Now we are ready to paint. However, we are considering having him do the same on the other column. It is not nearly as bad but there was a great deal of dry rotted wood that made up the frame of that pier. Who's to say that the other isn't far from the same condition.

I would also like to take the opportunity to show off the Hops again. This is the Hallertau vine and it has surpassed se7en feet. It grows a few inches every day. The Sterling is doing equally well although slightly shorter.

I have learned that hops likes acidic soil and coffee grounds are a good source to provide that acidity. I have been collecting grounds from both work places and home but it occurred to me yesterday to stop by my favorite coffee joint and collect them from there. The girl happily complied and with one dip, filled my little bucket with more coffee grounds than I could collect in a week from my other sources.

Go Hops, GO!

And now, time for a nap!

Porch Work

Pictured above is a shot of the house back in December. There was three feet of snow on the ground and every day was an adventure. I chose this picture to point out the piers upon which the columns are seated. They have both settled after one hundred years but the one on the left has significant settling. If you follow the siding from left to right, you will see that it is overlapping the siding below it.

This is a condition we were aware of when we bought the house. It was an obvious problem but not one that needed immediate attention. Four years later, we have decided to attend to it. There is no danger of it collapsing or anything but we are going to start painting the house this summer and this is a situation that needs to be fixed prior to painting.

As a Quazi-Amature Builder, I have elected to job this one out. We have hired our friend and consultant Phil to perform this job. Phil has worked on many house projects in the past. The upstairs balcony, the doors in the Carriage House, things like that. He had nothing to do with the gas pipe.Here is his progress after one day. I am not sure how he plans to jack that column up but I will find out tomorrow when I see him.

I haven't had a chance to see him because we are busy downtown still. I had to bartend today so Susan spent a good deal of time downtown getting us caught up. We have one skywalk left and I hope we can complete it tomorrow. We may have to work on Monday night as well. We'll see how things go.

This skywalk on Main Street is the one we completed today. Even with tinted windows, it loks great in the afternoon sun.

Memorial Weekend Fun

We went camping over Memorial Day. We went to Sullivan Lake, about 90 miles north of Spokane, almost to the Canadian border. We camped with my buddy Rob and his sigot (significant other) Olga, plus her daughter Natalie.

This was a different type of camping for Susan and I as Rob as a nice big roomy trailer with many of the comforts of home. We usually camp in a tent.

I reserved a campsite in the Sullivan Lake campground back in March. It turns out I picked one of the better ones; close to water and bathroom but tucked back from the main road so it felt secluded.

The weather was great and I spent Saturday night sleeping under the stars. It was chilly but my sleeping bag kept me toasty and the bright night sky was beautiful.

Here are a few selected photos.

Fun was had by all but I spent a good deal of my lounging time thinking about all the things I should be doing at home. I need help!

The Wonder of Nature's Miracle

Or the Nature of Miracle's Wonder.

The Miracle of Wonder's Nature.

Blah blah blah

I have the morning off as I have an appointment with the Cardiologist to discuss my waning health...or least my totally fabricated sense of my waning health.

In the meantime, I have been out fussing in the yard. I sprayed down the dandelions, I did a little watering and I did some urban landscape planning.

Pictured below is one of the lovely trees in our front yard. On the left is a shot of one of the many flowers sprouting all about the lovely trees. I counted 30 before I gave up. There is probably something like ten thousand of them.

On the right is the evil spawn that those flowers will produce and drop upon the lawn this fall. I have a hard time justifying the beauty of the flower that is there for about four days against the major pain in the ass chestnuts that will be around for decades.

To our credit, I had a hard time finding that chestnut to use as an example. We cleaned up pretty good last Autumn. It's hard now to think back and remember all the back breaking work we did. I'm sure it will come back (breaking) to me.

Bike to Work Week

Last week was "Bike to Work Week" and it was a pretty crappy week of weather for the event. I tried several times to ride my bike but the weather just would not cooperate.

Yesterday was a very nice day and would have been perfect for a bike ride. Unfortunately, I had a meeting after work that prevented me from biking. I could have ridden today except for the rain and the wind.

Perhaps tomorrow...oh wait! I have an event to attend after work. I might be able to bike there and then meet Susan and ride home with her. But I probably won't.

Maybe Thursday...oh wait! I have a Doctor's appointment that morning. Still, I could ride to work after that.

How 'bout Friday. Nope! Leaving work early that day to prepare for the three day weekend. I have many home improvement projects planned for Memorial Day.

I'll try to make riding my bike to work happen in June.

More Money for Nothin'

We took a much needed day off from working on the house in order to go downtown and work in a skywalk.

Hoopfest is a big event here in Spokaloo...as big as Bloomsday or Laundryday. Susan and I have been commissioned again this year to decorate some of the skywalks downtown to help jazz up and promote the event.Above is an artist rendering of how I envisioned a typical skywalk would look when completed. This is the picture I sent to the Hoopfest peoples to get their approval.Here is a photo of an actually completed skywalk that we painted today. This was our first so we knew it would take a while to complete. Five and a half hours was our time. That means, between Susan and I, we earned about $4.37 per hour.

We are both pretty pleased with the outcome. Although, if you were to walk through the skywalk, you would wonder what Fourth Grader they got to paint this crappy looking artwork on the windows. It looks much better from the street.

We chose to paint this skywalk first because it is directly adjacent to the Hoopfest offices. When the Hoopfest peoples arrive at work in the morning, they will look out their windows and see how fabulous they are...and thereby making Susan and I fabulous as well.

My Buds

Finally, the grape vines are showing signs of life. They are budding and starting to grow. This is not a great picture of the plant but you can see the leafs and the buds. I am so happy!

In the meantime, I am so sad. It continues to look as though the Clamatis has not survived the winter. I am going to hold out some hope that it is just sleeping a bit longer and getting ready to explode.

The Garage

Last night, I installed a bike lift in the garage for the tandem bike. I bought it at Joe's Sporting Goods, a national chain that is going out of biz. It works great! It lifted the bike easily off the ground and out of the way. Now I have to get out there and clean out all the other crap that has been building up for...well, we've been here four and half years now.

I'm continuing my daily battle with dandelions. I got a big bottle of Weed B Gon a couple of weeks ago. It's a concentrate bottle that you mix with water so I have plenty of ammo. But it seems the damn things sprout up new flowers everyday. I must be vigilant.

AND, I still have to get back out on the roof and finish my repair job for the squirrel hole.

Then after that....

Flora Update

The hops is cruising. The Sterling has already grown more than it did last year. It's pretty much one long vine with some shorter ones trying to catch up. The Hallertau started slow but is starting to spurt. It's a bunch of vines, maybe seven, growing at about the same rate.

The grape plants are finally showing some signs of life. They haven't grown any but there are buds that are about to sprout and then, look out, baby.

The Clamatis is the only casualty of winter. It does not appear to be stirring at all. I'm keeping a hopeful eye on it but it doesn't look promising.

Mad at the Dirt

I had to make a stop downtown after work yesterday. I found an open parking space very close to my destination and pulled in. When I opened the door, the wind blew the door handle right out of my hand. The door swung open hard, right into a light pole. The dent is not huge, but it stands out to me like a gaping hole. I was so pissed and there was nobody to be pissed at. I guess I could be mad at the wind but doesn't that ultimately lead to being mad at God?! I can't really blame God. It would have been nice if He had warned me though.

I pulled out the mower for the first time of the year and got the lawn done. The mower started on the third pull. It ran really well. I have been dubious in the past as to how much longer this mower will last me. I have taken it in for tune ups, but it has never really improved its performance. It tends to surge for a while upon start up and you have to kind of coax it to keep running until it is warmed up. Yesterday, it just ran like the wind. And yet, I'm still mad at the wind.

Bloomsday 2009

Susan has another successful Bloomsday to add to her resume. She wasn't very happy with her time. She ran it in about 1:22, which was a minute slower than last year. Still, she is happy she did it and especially happy that it is over.I was not able to participate as I think I'm having some heart issues. I have an appointment next week to undergo a Nuclear Stress Test. I'll find out then Wassup!

In the meantime, I watched the start of Bloomsday from the comfort of the Spokane Club with a nice Bloody Mary.

Chilly Mornings

The last couple of days have been pretty chilly here in Spokane and that has made the house equally chilly. Our space heaters are not keeping up. I may start a fire tonight (in the fireplace, don't get all concerned) to help warm up the house.

Eviction Consequences

On Sunday, I returned to the scene of the Squirrel Eviction to permanently close off access to the newly created Squirrel Hole. As I removed the siding to tear into the project, the extent of the damage began to reveal itself.The worst part of the damage was when I shined a flashlight into the hole and found a dead baby squirrel. I should have checked for that before closing off the hole last week, but it didn't occur to me. So now, I am responsible for the death of an innocent squirrel and I have a Momma Squirrel out there who is really pissed.

With a heavy heart, I continued my repair work. I removed all the siding on one side of the wall and the first couple of layers around the corner.

My first task was to replace a couple of support struts. That's the really badly chewed up piece and another below it. As usual, I ran into an equipment problem. The blade on my chop saw was so dull that I wasn't so much cutting through the wood as burning through the wood.

At that point, it was late in the day so I decided to buy the saw blade the next day. However, I still had a large opening and I didn't want any squirrels in there. My solution was Owlbert. We bought him at the General Store for about 30 bucks. He has motion sensors. His head turns and he hoots when the motion sensors detect movement.I think it worked good enough to keep the varmints out for a day. I heard it go off early Monday morning.My next step is to fit a piece of sheet metal over the whole side. There will be no more chewing through the house...at least in this area.

Then, I have to finish up and replace the siding.

We also have a major problem with moss. I have been scraping some of it away while I have been up there working. Once I'm done with this project, I will concentrate on the moss. I'm looking forward to some wonderful salads.

I feel really bad about the baby squirrel. After all the care I took last year to capture and re-locate skunks in a humane manner, knowing I am responsible for the rather unpleasant demise of a cute little future house shredder is unsettling. As with everything pertaining to the house, I will take the lessons I have learned and try to remember to apply them in the future.

So, the lessons learned in the past week?

Don't kill Squirrels. Don't cut the Gas Line.

Eviction

I have a Love/Hate relationship going with the squirrels. I realize that I am not going to be able to eliminate them from the park and surrounding area. That's genocide and we're not into that. But I would like to diminish their impact on the house as much as possible.

In contrast, I like to put out peanuts for them. Especially in the winter when it is much harder for them to forage for food. I really need to stop! I mean, why encourage the little varmints?!

We awoke last Sunday morning to the sound of chewing. I thought it was coming from the back corner of the house. Susan thought it was coming from the opposite side of the house. As usual, she was right.

This one squirrel had managed to chew his way into the inside of the balcony. He was assisted by me, who removed a couple of shingles last fall and then forgot to replace them. I noticed him earlier this week when I was outside the front of the house surveying my tremendous crop of moss. You can see both the moss and the squirrel hole in the picture above.

Anyway, I was observing the moss and considering a plan of action that would not blow up the house. I noticed this squirrel scurrying down the roof and then slipping into the side of the balcony. Moss was no longer my main concern.

So I got up on the balcony and scrambled out onto the roof and the corner of the balcony structure and peered in the squirrel hole.

I was actually happy to see that he had made his home so close to the opening. Once inside there, the squirrel would have access to the whole roof section above the front porch.

I tried using this personal alarm I have to scare him out but he wouldn't move. Then I remembered the anti-varmint pepper spray. I couple of squirts into the hole and he was outta thar.

I was ready with more siding to nail into place. I then heavily coated the whole area with the spray to discourage any more chewing.

I went out this morning to check things out. The patch is still in place.

I deposited an extra generous pile of peanuts near the tree.

Earth Day Home Repair

You know, I still have a leaky faucet to deal with. I decided to go a different repair route. A route that is friendlier...not so much to the environment, but to me.

I mixed up some JB Weld on Tuesday and applied it to the inside of the faucet pipe. I tried to cover as much of the inside and as far back as possible. I spread a little around where I knew the crack was.

Then last night, I screwed the faucet into place and turned to water on. To my pleasure and amazement, it worked. I cannot see any leakage. This outcome also caused me to feel even more stupid concerning my attempts at a more aggressive repair method.

And now, it's time for a Hops Plant update.

Pictured below is my Sterling Hops plant. It has taken off this year. The vines are much thicker and they are growing at an incredible rate.

Notice the black marks on the support stick the vine is wrapping around. I marked it this morning at the top. There is a mark about four inches below that I made yesterday. It is really cruising. And this is even with a broken stem near the bottom of the plant. You can kind of make out the damage right at the bottom of the picture.The photograph above shows my Haullertau Hops Plant. It is not growing as fast but it is starting to catch up with the Sterling. Additionally, it is sending up about se7en vine shoots as opposed to the two of three shoots that the other plant is sprouting.

I still see no signs of life in either of my grape vine plants of the Clematis. The winter might just have done them in.

Sharing a Hallmark Moment

One of my favorite responses to people who ask, "How ya Doing?", is "Happy to be on this side of the dirt!"

That has taken on a whole new meaning to me after the events of Sunday. I was surprised at how affected I was after everything calmed down. I didn't sleep well, my stomach was kind of queasy all day and I just had this weird feeling of dodging a major bullet. The more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that I was a spark away from buying the farm and then exploding it into little pieces, taking my wife with me.

I feel really stupid because it was such a lame mistake. But, I am so thankful and grateful to be alive which allows me the opportunity to feel as stupid as I do. I am going to try my best to remember this feeling and somehow make it reflect in my life.

I guess what I'm saying is that we take so much for granted. Stop it! Look around. Notice how amazing life is. No matter how crappy you think your life is, that's a temporary situation and it will change. When you feel like crap, thank God you're alive to feel it. Celebrate it.

Okay, that's my Hallmark Moment.

Almost a Darwin Award Winner

I had a project set for today that I was determined to accomplish. I have to fix the outside faucet. The end of the pipe where the faucet attaches has a crack that allows water to leak out behind the faucet. I traced the water line down in the basement and went to work to replace the length of pipe about four feet long.

I was reefing on it with my pipe wrench and couldn't break the seal on the joint. I got my torch and tried heating up the elbow to allow for some expansion and contraction, again hoping to break the seal.

I drove to Home Depot for some advice. The guy there told me I could cut the pipe near the joint and then probably have better luck loosening that smaller section. If I still couldn't get the pipe out, I would have to saw into the connection in several points around the pipe in order to break it up and thereby remove it.

So I drove on back home, got my hack saw and began to cut. It was very slow going and really quite an arduous task, so I decided to speed things up with the Sawzall. That worked great. I fired it up and started cutting and tore through the pipe. It threw off a couple of little sparks but nothing that concerned me about setting the joists ablaze.

Suddenly I noticed a hissing sound. Sssssssssssssssssss! Next I smelled the rotten eggs. Yes, the water pipe I had been cutting into with a power saw, with sparks a flying, that I was heating up with a torch, was in fact my gas line.

I went into total panic mode when I realized what a stupid damn idiot I was. I ran upstairs to tell Susan and call the Gas Company. I ran back down stairs to shut off the pilot light and power. I also grabbed some duct tape and wrapped it around the pipe. Surprisingly, that helped to staunch the flow of gas pretty well. Gas lines are not under a lot of pressure, I now know.

I finally found the phone number for the Gas Company and after going through their phone tree, I accessed their emergency gas leak line where they put me on hold for ten minutes.

During this time, I decided to try and find the gas shutoff valve at the meter. All this time, I am really pissed at myself and running around and breathing heavily and not really thinking clearly. I work very well under pressure.

Anyway, I got the gas shut off and the smell of it dissipated quickly and then the Avista guy showed up. He double checked that I did indeed get the valve shut off properly and that there was no gas.

It was fortunate this happened now that I don't need the furnace. I have a guy who is coming next Sunday to replace the pipe I cut.

Once I had the chance to wind down and think about what happened, I am just flabbergasted at my ignorance and stupidity. How do you follow one water line and then loose it and pick up the gas line. God had an Angel sitting on my shoulder during all this because clearly, as close as I came, it is apparently not yet my time to go.

I am no longer allowed to work on pipes.

Home Maintenance Issues

As a home owner, you will frequently be faced with unexpected home maintenance issues. These issues may involve small pesky rodent or normal wear and tear. Tonight, I am dealing with both.

I have seen signs that some sort of four legged mammal creature is trying to gain entry to the underbelly of the Carriage House. Specifically, I have seen signs of digging around a hole in the pavement of the alley immediately adjacent to the rear alley side of the Carriage House. This is a situation that we cannot allow to develop.

In an effort to quell this uprising, I am instigating protocols to determine the exact species attempting to gain entry and the intentions of the aforementioned, as yet unnamed mammal rodent individuals. I think the pictures speak for themselves.

I think I have already mentioned the leaky outdoor faucet. In order to fix it correctly, I have to remove and replace a sizable chunk of pipe. It is inside with easy access from the basement. I have not yet attempted a replacement of this nature so I am approaching it with a certain amount of trepidation.

Here is a picture of the pipe run I have to replace.

I have to remove the pipe from the elbow to the faucet, which is just on the other side of the far wall. It should be an easy project except for the following concerns:

1) I will have to shut off the main water to remove this pipe. The shut off valve down the line is old and does not completely seal the shut off. If the water is still on, it will leak profusely.

2) Once I have the pipe removed, I will need to take it to the local Home Improvement Center to retrieve the proper replacement length and parts.

3) During this time, the water will be shut off. If I want to flush, Tough!

4) If I cannot properly replace this pipe by late afternoon, I will have to have some plan in place that will allow me to turn the water back on and keep this thing from leaking all over the basement floor.

5) Maybe I shouldn't do anything right now.

Having listed my concerns, I now feel free to ignore the issue.

What was it we were talking about?!

Hops Disaster

The hops pictured in the last post survived the snow but it did not survive some animal rubbing up against it and breaking it. I am stunned. this is a huge set back for a vine of hops that was really getting a good foothold on the growing season. I'm going to have to erect some chicken wire enclosures around all those plants to protect them.

I have the first signs of something trying to move in under the Carriage House. It looks like some animal has dug in through a hole in the paved alley. A bunch of dirt was dug out of the hole and onto the pavement. I filled it back in and I'll keep a watch on it.

The snow from the other day pushed the seasonal total snowfall to 97.7 inches.

Snowy Hops

I hope this isn't a bad omen for the hops. It has gotten a nice solid start on the season and then something like this happens. The snow will likely be gone by noon so it shouldn't be too damaging. At least, that's what the latent farmer in me thinks.

Sloppy Easter

One sure way to schedule some wet weather is to arrange a nice spring holiday. The forecasters were falling all over themselves saying that Easter Sunday will be okay during the day but rainy as the day wore on. Nice try!

It rained steadily all day. It would ease off here and there but it never really did stop.

That's good for the hops though so I approve.

We didn't really do anything on Easter because Susan had to work. The damn Spokane Chiefs hockey team keeps winning and so she has to keep working games. And then, when they had a chance to seal the deal and move on, they lost. The last game of the series is tomorrow against the Vancouver Vasectomy's. Goat Cheese Go!

I need to get back to sanding but I'm not gonna tonight. I had me a workout that didn't agree with me on account of all that running and working out. I hate that stuff. But I'm fat and I'll be dead soon if I don't try to embrace it more.

More Signs of Life

I have been keeping an eye on my hops and grape vines that I planted last year. So far, I have seen very little evidence that they survived the winter...until last night. It looks like the hops is starting to push out some healthy looking buds. I doused them in Miracle Grow and we'll see how they do.

The great weather continues and it is very conducive to getting out in the yard and cleaning up every night. The yard needs sooooooo much work and is sooooooo far away from being where we want it to be.

I noticed last night that there is a leak one of my water faucets outside. I removed it and the pipes to which is was attached doesn't look very good. The end is corroded and chipped and looks like it has been fatigued. I'm going to purchase a new faucet today and see if that fits onto the pipe better and seals the leak.

I also need to buy a new hose caddy. The one I had in the backyard has suffered some damage over the winter. I don't know what happened to it but the crank you use to return the hose to the reel and been broken off. As I stated, I don't know how that could have happened, but it happened.

Spring Time Has Arrived

This Blog is dedicated to the Home Remodeling Project of Stan & Susan Burke. Here we will chronicle our on-going project as we move toward our goal of completing our remodel by 2009, the 100 year anniversary of our home. We will also list our various injuries and lost body parts.

As of today, that is the subject header of the blog. I haven't read it in a while. It seems it is time to update it. Here it is 2009 and we are waaaaay behind our ambitious schedule. I haven't done any work on the stairs since last Sunday. I guess that is something that I'll work on.

I rode my bike to work this morning, resuming the routine I followed last Summer of riding downtown, catching the bus to Liberty Lake and then doing it backwards on the way home. It was chilly this morning but a nice ride home. I am waaaaaay out of riding shape. I 'spect it will take some acclimating.

I was able to get home tonight in time to run a mile around the park and then get some fertilizer on the lawn. I'm trying to get ahead of the dandelions. I hate the dandelions.

I am also keeping an eye on my hops and grape vines. So far, I do not see any evidence that they weathered the winter months.

There's a nearly full moon out tonight and it still about 60 degrees. I'll have to go out and walk the grounds.

Beautiful Sunday

Sunday was a beautiful day. It got up into the 60's and was a great day to be out working in the yard. We also had a couple of birthday parties to attend which made for a totally lovely, if not fattening afternoon.

As I was driving home on Friday, I came across the biggest pickup truck I have ever seen. I don't count those Monster Trucks that you see crushing stacks while rabid fans cheer and duck. Those can't haul anything. This was an actual working pickup.

It was a Semi-tractor crew cab with a pickup bed on back. The bed could probably hold a regular sized pickup.One way to gauge the size of this thing is too look at the trailer hitch on it. Notice how far down it has to drop in order to pull a regular trailer at anything close to level. Now that's a guy who doesn't give a shit about the price of diesel.

Narcissism and the Blog

As I predicted yesterday, the snow was all gone by the time I got home from work. It continues to try and snow. It's snowing right now. I heard on the radio that we set a record yesterday for snow fall on an April Second. The previous record was 1.2 inches and we got two. Our chest is swelled with pride. Or sunken with cabin fever rage.

I have been trying to evaluate my narcissistic tendencies. I tell myself I am keeping this blog because it is a great vehicle for looking back at what we've done on the house. I have easy access to it. It has been very helpful in referring to when projects were started or finished. I also discovered I like doing it. I like writing. It makes me wish I had paid more attention in Mrs. Jurgenson's class.

But I think I am fooling myself when I say that I don't care if anybody reads it. If I really wanted a record of home remodeling accomplishments, I would keep a journal. (I wrote "diary" there first but that's too gay.) I have kept journals in the past and I'll be damned if I can tell you where they are.

I think that all bloggers want to be read even if they say they don't. Saying you don't care if anyone reads it is a safety valve for when in fact, nobody does read it. Anyway, that's my excuse.

April Fools - A Day Late

This was the scene upon opening the door this morning to let the cats out. The weather folks had forecast it but they've been forecasting it for three days. There was about three inches. I was able to fight the urge to break out the snow blower because I'm quite confident it will be gone by this afternoon.

I'm not sure how much longer my camera is going to be with me. I have been having problems with the automatic lense cover. It doesn't always open completely and it has been doing that for several months. I fix it by giving it a little flick and it opens right up.

Now it looks like it isn't positioned properly and it won't open at all. I was able to open it with a friendly nudge from my pocket knife, but now it won't close. That means I am due for a scratched lense. Until then, I'll keep snapping.

By the way, this snow fall has added even more to the seasonal total putting us way up into "Seen Worse" territory.