Stan's Handy Tip # 347

How do you take a mess that looks like this...?

And turn it into this!

Since we are getting the new Fireplace Insert (hopefully this coming week) I have been on the lookout for things to burn for later in what will be, "the burning season".

So after doing some research on things that burn, I have discovered that newspaper burns. Coincidentally, I receive the newspaper daily. Do you see my point? I have something delivered to the house daily that burns. How can I exploit this?

At work we get rolls of vinyl on cardboard cores. We save a few to use as mail tubes or for packaging but they are essentially garbage.

So I have begun collecting them. I cut them in half, which is close to the width of a newspaper. Then I take a short stack of newspapers and roll them up as tight as I can. If I have the right thickness, they slide easily into the cardboard core and I have a StanMade Synthetic Log.

I made eleven of my synthetic logs with that stack of newspapers pictured at the top of this post. I realize these are not the same as burning hardwood but I'm hoping that the chamber of an efficient, state of the art fireplace insert will get maybe 20 minutes out of one. Heat is heat and I'm on a quest to effishansize this house. 

The insert is only a small cog in my overall wheel of efficiency. We shall see how it works. By the end of the week, I'll have enough paper for five more of these.

Ultimately, a fifty foot tower out back with a power generating windmill will augment our Thermonuclear Boiler, our triple pained, gas infused transparent aluminum windows, our 15 Megawatt Solar Garden, our quadruple insulated cooling unit and the cat treadmill that powers the television.